Happenstance...I think not...

Over the course of the past two weeks, I have been getting a lesson in destiny...I have always believed that people are in your life for a reason, but, wow,  it's becoming very clear to me just how very real and true it is...

My best friend is a woman whom I met ten years ago while I was a working engineer.  So was she.  Both of us fresh out of school with strong family ties and mutual understanding of what was most important in life.  On the surface, this is why I thought we had become friends.  She is the only person that I trusted my small and only child at the time with, without batting an eye, outside of my immediate family.  We just clicked.  We have not lived near each other in 9 years but the friendship remained steadfast and true.  We have managed to see each other at least once a year (which seems like just not enough, but it's what we can manage...)  Almost 6 years ago, her fiance suddenly and unexpectedly passed away.  When I got the call that morning, I burst into tears.  I had no words of wisdom.  I had no way to ease her pain.  I had no frame of reference to relate to the tremendous loss she suffered.  At the time all I could do was be there for her and felt so helpless and useless in her time of great need. Phone calls at random times of the day, and all I could do was listen, interject with some mindless drivel every now & then and just be there.  I could not reconcile in my head or heart, why this had happened to such a genuinely lovely human being. I watched as she somehow managed to pick herself up and carry on despite what should have been debilitating grief.  No matter how unfair the circumstances she admirably carried herself with such grace and strength.

Four years ago, I had Griffin.  We all know how much questioning and anger I had (see previous posts and my old blog...) and then the journey of losing him. While still reeling from that loss, my husband disappeared.  Although he did not die physically, the loss was just as real.   In the blink of an eye, she and I had more in common.  I now had that understanding I had been looking for.  Our friendship really turned to a sisterhood as a result.  I also finally get the whole Oprah and Gayle thing.  She refuses to be Gayle, but I get it. She has been on the receiving end of those randomly timed phone calls, and she is just there for me.  She may not know what to say, but she's there, and it makes all the difference.   In the back of my mind, I often wonder...is this why we met all those years ago?  Somebody, somewhere knew this is what the universe had in store for each of us and knew we'd need each other to make it through??????

Four days before Christmas this past year, a college roommate of mine found me on facebook, out of nowhere.  The last I had heard from her, she was literally riding off into the sunset on a white horse with the love of her life.  I had run into her dad about 7 years ago and he reported that she was living, joyfully, in the woods of Wisconsin somewhere, expecting her first child. It was great to hear all was as it should be for her.  We had lived together almost a year before we discovered we had the same birthday.  I always love telling that story.  We met because she was dating a guy who was a friend of  my boyfriend.  We were the girls who would hang out together because the boys were too wrapped up in playing dungeons and dragons until 5 in the morning.  She's an artist, was an art history major and thinks completely differently than an engineer.  It was an interesting pairing, her and I, but we had fun, nonetheless. 

When she friended me on FB, I realized she had a different last name, which puzzled me because she and her husband were the kind of couple Shakespearean sonnets are written about.  So, I did a little investigating that day and I discovered she had lost him to an awful illness.  I freaked out a bit upon this discovery.  Another woman I have admired and cherished has endured her own private hell of loss.  Much more in common than our birthdays now....

On Saturday, I felt compelled to read my birthday twin's blog, randomly choosing a place to start,  opening the entries two days after her husband had passed, first.  Even more goose bump worthy, was the realization that the anniversary of his death was this week.  I literally found myself holding my breath as I read, in awe, the details of what had transpired that week of her life, finally gasping for air, in between sobs.  Separated by time, space and life, she was feeling, doing and experiencing the EXACT same EVERYTHING I had in the past year, in that post.  I continued to read and found she was out there now, three years later, happy and living her life to the fullest after those dark and daunting moments, and it empowered me in a flash.  I am still stunned by the entire experience, but as it sinks in, those same questions are percolating from before and wondering about that nudge I got from the universe to peek into her world...

In the last year I have found that somehow, the right people with the right words at the right time are continually coming my way.  It also appears that the reciprocal is true, right?  I'm being placed in the lives of others so that I may be there at the right moment with the wisdom that has been bestowed upon me.   How is it possible that two of the strongest women I have ever known in my lifetime have come to suffer such similar losses?  How is it that we are sisters via such similar tragedy???  It's amazing to me really, that what appeared as randomly established friendships over the years appears now to be intentional by some greater power?  Almost spooky from my end.  What happened to my roommate, is helping me be more supportive of my best friend.  The life altering circumstances which have bound us together in my mind, have cemented my quest to be sure to live life to it's fullest and love as much and as often as you can.  I am so very thankful to have these wonderful women in my life.

Whatever that higher power out there in the universe may be....apparently they really know what they are doing.  Take a deep breath, acknowledge and let destiny show itself...this is the profound revelation I have come to. Be thankful for the people who reveal themselves to you as your chosen family. They really are there for a reason. 

The last little nugget of knowledge I feel compelled to share as a result of our experiences......Our moment on this planet is fleeting, don't get bogged down in whatever misfortunes and tragedies may come your way.  When you are lucky enough to live to see another day, the possibilities for joy are limitless.


Tiffany